Jealousy Taking Over? Here’s How to Regain Self-Control and Move On

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Jealousy, an emotion that is felt by everyone at some point in life, can be a healthy and normal response to threatened or insecure in a relationship. But unchecked jealousy can quickly become unhealthy and lead to destructive behavior, serious relationship problems, and even depression. Fortunately, there are strategies to get back in control, regain self-respect, and move on from feeling jealous.

Uncovering the Root Causes of Jealousy

The primary source of jealousy often stems from fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of being abandoned, fear of being rejected, or fear of being replaced. These fears can come from a variety of sources, both past and present. Some people may experience jealousy due to a traumatic event from their past, such as a death of a loved one, a divorce or break-up, or even a betrayal. Others may be envious of someone else’s achievements or relationships. Regardless of where the fear originates from, it’s important to recognize it for what it is and to not let it take over.

Recognizing When Jealousy is Unhealthy

Unhealthy jealousy can come out in a variety of ways, ranging from minor annoyance to extreme anger. It can cause arguments and resentment, create negative thoughts and behaviors, and lead to isolation and depression. Unhealthy jealousy may also lead to possessiveness and controlling behavior which can damage relationships. It’s important to be aware of these signs and to understand them as a warning before the situation spirals out of control.

Strategies for Regaining Self-Control

The first step towards regaining control is understanding the root cause of the jealousy. Once this has been identified, people can start to take control of their emotions by engaging in self-reflection and developing healthier thought patterns. Practicing , meditation, and journaling can help with this process. Additionally, talking to friends and family, or seeking professional help, can provide much needed perspective and emotional support during this time.

It’s important to remember that jealousy can be an opportunity to learn more about oneself and to build emotional resilience. Taking the time to recognize and process the source of the fear can help to gain insight and understanding, which can then be used to make better decisions in the future.

The Benefits of Moving on from Jealousy

When the root cause of one’s jealousy has been identified and the emotions are being managed in healthier ways, people can begin to move on from feeling jealous. This can be a rewarding process that results in greater emotional clarity and newfound emotional freedom. People may find that they have more energy, a new outlook on life, and even greater connection to their loved ones.

Effective Ways to Let Go of Jealousy

When allowing oneself to move on from jealousy, it’s important to stay focused on the present moment and to not get caught up in worrying about the future. It can also be helpful to focus on one’s own accomplishments and desires, to practice gratitude and , and to engage in activities that bring joy and connection. Additionally, it is important to choose to let go of jealousy and instead focus on cultivating healthy relationships with oneself and with others.

Jealousy can be incredibly powerful, but with the right strategies it is possible to regain control and move on. Learning to recognize and address the root causes of the fear can provide invaluable insight, while also helping to build emotional resilience. Through self-reflection and developing healthier habits, it is possible to move on from feeling jealous and experience the benefits of newfound freedom.


  • Mast, J., & Sedikides, C. (2017). The Oxford handbook of jealousy. Oxford University Press.
  • Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2017). What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon and Schuster.
  • Cramer, P. (2016). The jealousy cure: Learn to trust, overcome possessiveness, and save your relationship. New Harbinger Publications.

Jealousy can be a powerful and destructive emotion, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to regain control, build emotional resilience, and move on to freedom. Learning to identify and address the source of the fear, and engaging in self-reflection, mindfulness, and healthy habits, can help to reduce feelings of jealousy and find balance in life.

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