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I want a baby, but not her

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Sometimes a man feels ready to be a dad, but his partner is not. This situation is rarer than the opposite. How to deal with such an impasse?

I am ready to become a father, why wait?

That’s it. You feel ready to be a dad. All the reasons are there. Yes, but here it is, your partner does not want to become a mother. And a child must be desired by two. There is no question of forcing your partner to have it. You will therefore have to be patient, which is difficult in this case, and try to convince your partner, without harassing her.

Faced with a refusal of a child, it is important to express how having children is fundamental for you, that it is really lacking in your happiness.

There is no point in harassing your partner. You will need to be much more subtle! Plan outings with friends who already have children and show them how happy you are with children. You can also mention from time to time the names that you like or what you would like to introduce to your child. The goal is for her to feel your deep desire. She can then access your desire to make you happy because she loves you.

Talk about it together

It is important to discuss this desire for an unrequited child, including why your partner does not want to have children, if she just wants to wait. Does she still want to enjoy life together? Knowing his arguments, maybe it will be easier for you to be patient?

It is also possible that your other half is anxious at the idea of ​​becoming a mother, of not being up to the task, of reproducing a situation experienced as a child, of having to give up his career … You can then reassure her.

The dialogue will also allow you to know if, behind the stated reasons, there is not a real non-desire for a child. There, things are totally different. It’s up to you to decide if you can give up having children because your partner doesn’t want them.

What if she really doesn’t want a child?

If his decision not to have a child is irrevocable, there are two solutions: give up being a dad or leave your partner.

If the desire for fatherhood is stronger than the love you have for your partner, a breakup is inevitable.

What if she really doesn’t want to have a baby?

If his decision not to have a child is irrevocable, there are two solutions: give up being a dad or leave your partner.

If the desire for fatherhood is stronger than the love you have for your partner, a breakup is inevitable.

Read:  Desire to have a child: different motivations for the desire to be a mother
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